interesting correlations

• IQ and 2004 voting (by state)


• SAT scores/ bachelor's degree data and 2000 voting (by state)

a bit ticked off here in California

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North East States, and the urban half of Ohio.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. God is going to give us the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego. (Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting you have the KKK and country music (except the Dixie Chicks).

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.

So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the south, right?)

Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan O'Brien. You get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny show.)

We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. Soon.

Sincerely, California

Via Alicia

f$#* the south

Another post-election rant.

Warning: This rant contains beaucoup beaucoup beaucoup de profanity.
Via Hilary

public enemy number one million two hundred and twenty six

Tim Allen, comedian, had this to say about Martha Stewart:

Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J & Kobe are walking around, Scott Peterson's going to be soon, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her ass to jail.

Via Nancy

valkyrie, schmalkyrie

Via Tatjiana (click image for a larger version)


Me, at Kendall and William's Hat and Tie party a few weeks back.

Now imagine 500 Norwegian soccer fans wearing this hat and screaming for Swedish or Danish blood, because that's where it usually gets worn by the owner of the hat. (Not me.)

she called it my SNL photo

Photo © 2003 Alicia Holdner-Campen (click image for a larger version)

sorry everybody

Via Healy (click image for a larger version)
http://sorryeverybody.com/gallery/1/

Some of us — hopefully most of us — are trying to understand and appreciate the effect our recent election will have on you, the citizens of the rest of the world. As our so-called leaders redouble their efforts to screw you over, please remember that some of us — hopefully most of us — are truly, truly sorry. And we'll say we're sorry, even on the behalf of the ones who aren't.

what I learned at lunch today

When dining at the food court:

1. Don't order the chicken gyros (a chicken mystery meat) sandwich.
2. Order the chicken souvlaki (real chicken breast meat) sandwich instead.

welcome to _____

I had a great first day at my new job. Here's the rundown for those who are actually interested:

7:55 Get let in by sympathetic administrative assistant who already knows my name.
8:15 Talk to my new boss and get the heads-up about what to think about for my 10 a.m. Big Meeting with the campuswide committee I'll eventually be co-chairing. I comment that I'll probably listen more than I speak.
9:00 Get legit: I'm escorted to HR to sign papers and become a bona fide employee.
9:35 Walk back to my office and get ready for Big Meeting. Meet more co-workers.
10:00 Big Meeting. I listen and then end up speaking a bunch in spite of myself. Make ridiculous comment about actually promulgating web standards with manadatory elements (search, logo, comment) in consistent places and am informed that the Style Guide addresses that. I also hear the words "Welcome to ____," and I feel like I've just stepped in it. To avoid tracking it around, I opt to just listen for most of the rest of the meeting.
12:00 Lunch with the new boss and other managers in my department at the Faculty Staff Club. I learn more about the folks I'll be spending quality time with and decide that they are cool people and that I have, in fact, made an excellent choice in deciding to work with them.
1:15 Get legit, part deux: Obtain ID, parking permit, keys, etc.
2:15 Campus tour: A very nice guy named Aaron drives me around on a large (four-bench) golf cart/ bus and gives me the big tour of the place. We get off the cart to check out the sculpture garden near the ceramics kilns and, later, by the sundial that I mistake for an astrolabe.
3:00 Meet with my boss. I begin by telling him that I feel like a rock star after the royal treatment I'd received today (I really did). He gives me his view of the projects and their priority in my job (thank god!), his management style and expectations, etc. We talk about projects and what I need to get going on soon.
4:10 Dash out to get to an appointment.
7:00 French class: Learn to conjugate -ir verbs au present, au passe compose, a l'imparfait. Also learn the conditional tense.
10:00 Tell Harrison about my fab day and generally ramble on about how happy I am to have my new job.
10:15 Consult with Harrison on tomorrow's outfit.
10:21 Post this tale to the blog.
11:39 Pass out

eh, part deux

Via Geoff

golden advice

My friend and former colleague Sydney (and fellow golden retriever afficionado) had this advice for me as I begin my new job.

Remember these golden retriever tips:

• Perk your ears up and listen carefully before you decide to bark.
• You don't have a tail to wag, so share that beautiful smile to let people know you're friendly.
• Assume that all newcomers are friendly, but give them a thorough sniff-test to make sure you've judged correctly.
• Be loyal to those who feed and care for you.
• If you get stressed out, curl up and take a nap so you'll be ready to play again.

take a closer look

Via Cass (click image for a larger version)

For the names of the deceased soldiers pictured, visit http://www.michaelmoore.com and scroll to the Thursday, November 4th, 2004 entry (My first thoughts after the election... )

map: U.S. voting by population

Lynne wanted to see a map that shows how the states voted (and accounts for their population). Here's the best I could find: a map of the electoral vote, with states sized according to their electoral vote contribution.
Via DDTB

them's fightin' words

Via Harrison (click image for a larger version)

smart IS sexy

The Akademics clothing company ran ads with the slogan "Read Books, Get Brain" on about 200 NY transit authority buses for the past two months. The ads are no longer featured on NY transportation, because "get brain" is slang for oral sex.

The advertisements that ran on about 200 buses across the city in recent months carried posters displaying a suggestively posed woman in hot pants kneeling among a pile of books beside the snappy slogan “Read Books, Get Brain.”

What unhip, unsuspecting local transportation officials did not know was that “get brain” is street slang for oral sex...

Kelly, who said he was his 60s, said that after he was tipped to the hidden meaning of the phrase on Thursday he ran a test among some young MTA workers. “I went downstairs to the mailroom and showed some of the young guys a copy of the ad,” he said. “I was watching their faces and they all start smirking.”

how the rest of the world sees us

Via http://www.newseum.org/frontpages/election2004.htm

The UK: In case you missed it, the 59,054,087 daily mirror cover from Thursday, Nov. 4
Via Michael C.

France: In addition to the general "incroyable" response, there's also this fun editorial --Pourquoi? and one perspective on how the Dems can come back:

Pour renouer le fil avec l'électorat populaire, le Parti démocrate devra retrouver une cohérence économique et investir à son tour le domaine des "valeurs". Mais le risque est qu'il soit séduit par une ligne populiste et qu'il renonce à ses origines. Sa politique doit être celle de la défense des libertés, au moment où elles sont menacées au nom de la lutte contre le terrorisme.

o canada, we plead to cede to thee

I am perfectly willing to incorporate "eh" into my vocabulary.

ADOPT US, O Canada!
As a blue-red split continues in the Divided States of America,
we note that every blue state is contiguous to Canada or to a another blue state
that is contiguous to Canada, except Hawaii - that's not contiguous to anything
but a lot of blue water that's contiguous to Canada.

Therefore, we've got an idea. How about a sort of second American
Revolution, Canada, in which you annex all the blue states, liberate us from
King George, and thus become the world's sole superpower.

What Canada Gets:
• Higher education
• Serious sports
• Warm-weather vacations
• The cultural arts
• The entertainment industry
• The automobile industry
• The biotech industry
• The computer industry
• A burgeoning tourist industry
• Fresher produce
• Arnold Schwarzenegger

What the Red-Staters get:
• Exactly what they want.

What Blue-Staters get:
• Canadian citizenship
• "O, Canada"
• Free flu shots. (Not to mention free health care.)

You don't like our "values," red-staters, you've got your wish - we're outta here.
But remember, the next time you want to see a Broadway show, visit wine country, Hawaii or the birthplace of liberty, don't just bring your Visa card, bring your visa.
You're in Canada now. And we're tightening our borders.
Don't delay, Canada. This offer expires in four years.

Via Ron C. and Tom K.

the voice of reason?

This is a pleasant surprise indeed.

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (AP) -- The Republican expected to chair the Senate Judiciary Committee next year bluntly warned newly re-elected President Bush on Wednesday against putting forth Supreme Court nominees who would seek to overturn abortion rights or are otherwise too conservative to win confirmation.

Sen. Arlen Specter, fresh from winning a fifth term in Pennsylvania, also said the current Supreme Court now lacks legal "giants" on the bench.

"When you talk about judges who would change the right of a woman to choose, overturn Roe v. Wade, I think that is unlikely," Specter said, referring to the landmark 1973 Supreme Court decision legalizing abortion.

"The president is well aware of what happened, when a number of his nominees were sent up, with the filibuster," Specter added, referring to Senate Democrats' success over the past four years in blocking the confirmation of many of Bush's conservative judicial picks. "... And I would expect the president to be mindful of the considerations which I am mentioning."

Via Scott D.

the culture war begins

At Toastmasters this morning, my friend Matt made an impassioned impromptu speech about the country not needing to come together to heal, because the two parties are so fundamentally different ideologically. He also talked about how that has historically sparked discourse and positive change.

After the meeting, we talked about how to connect the Blue States of America, and he quipped that the Dems need to take gun control off the table, since what keeps Montana and Wyoming from being blue is the "God, guns, and gays" rhetoric of the GOP.

still ill

Interesting commentary on our post-election shock:

• The unbearable darkness of being (alternet.org)
• A Blue City Bewildered by a Red America (NY Times, subscription required)

Via Harrison and Jennifer S.

electing to leave

So the wrong candidate has won, and you want to leave the country. Let us consider your options... A reader’s guide to expatriating on November 3

the axis of evil supper club

Props to Christi and Lynne for taking me out for a tasty goodbye lunch. As we weren't feeling celebratory about national politics, we took some time to strategize how we'd create a geographically noncontiguous nation that only included the blue states. Advantages: We'd control most of the nation's ports and hold the red states hostage with port taxes.

We also spitballed some names for a group that would get together for dinner and (political talk?) on a regular basis:

• The Axis of Evil Supper Club
• The Dinner Underground
• The Better Half
• The non-cowboys and indians
• All Your Ports Are Belong To Us
• The Lefta and Raita
• The Curry Taskforce
• Something that incorporates all the labels that rightwing nutjobs use to stereotype slander us: godless, gay, feminist, liberal, pinko, commie...

If you are an open-minded tolerant smart liberal and like to surround yourself with other elitist discerning folk, apply here.

mnemonic devices

I'm almost ashamed to say how I remember whether I'm a blue state or a red state.

Rednecks are the majority in red states.

woe is U.S.

C'mon, people. I'm depressed, too. But this is the price of democracy.

The comments on today's Daily Oliver made me smile, though.

I voted Oliver!— Deviant Brainwave Nov 3, 8:40am

Ollie for Prez!— Taylor Nov 3, 11:05am

Oliver, although cute, cannot be President. He’s not yet 35 years old, he was not born in the United States, and he’s a dog.
Soooo….Oliver for Senate!— Sean O Nov 3, 12:18pm

oh to be a dog right now instead of an american… woe is U.S.— catherine Nov 3, 3:39pm

here kitty kitty

AFP - Getty Images
History remembers Vespatian as a very bad man. He's the Roman Emperor who reputedly fed the Christians to the lions in an amphitheater better known as the Coliseum.

And now, there's the modern-day version of this insanity, only this Christian literally dared the lions to bite him.

TAIPEI, Taiwan - A man leaped into a lion’s den at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity, but was bitten in the leg for his efforts.

“Jesus will save you!” shouted the 46-year-old man at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away.

“Come bite me!” he said with both hands raised, television footage showed. One of the lions, a large male with a shaggy mane, bit the man in his right leg before zoo workers drove it off with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

Newspapers said that the lions had been fed earlier in the day, otherwise the man might have been more seriously hurt ... or worse.

musings on my 'hood

Who knew that stodgy, south-of-the-iron-curtain San Diego could be so liberal? Every time I vote, I get discouraged, because it seems that no matter what I vote for, the majority of my county votes against. Or if I'm against it, then they're all for it. This time, things were different, at least in my own precinct and the precinct where I worked.

Giant disclaimer — these numbers come from ballots cast in the precinct (not absentee) :

• Kerry 433 to Bush 132 (out of 582 total ballots cast)


• Plus, landslides for Barbara Boxer, Susan Davis, Christine Kehoe, Lori Saldana, and a certain write-in candidate for mayor.

Election geek that I am, I stopped at the precinct where I voted today (my own Normal Heights neighborhood precinct # 271800) and read the election results tape posted to the door. I'm pleased to report the following:

• Kerry 457 to Bush 138 (out of 608 total ballots cast)


• And more landslides for Barbara Boxer, Susan Davis, Christine Kehoe, Lori Saldana, and that write-in mayoral candidate.

Sisters are doing it for themselves... and my 'hood is seeming cooler and cooler all the time.

voicemail from cass

"Did you know today is National Abstinence Day?

No bush, no dick... "

voting is sexy

As most of you know, I'm spending today, Nov. 2 at precinct 271200 in San Diego. That precinct includes significant numbers of voters for whom English is a second language.

Here are the prelim numbers in my precinct:

• English (language) ballots cast so far: 382
• Spanish (language) ballots cast so far: 14
• Vietnamese (language) ballots cast so far: 7
• Provisional ballots (voting out of precinct, etc.) cast so far: 33

In addition to the overall record turnout, I am seeing so many faces that are in the 35ish- and- under crowd, which is encouraging, because people from every demographic are getting out the vote!

eminem redeemed?

Yes, I think Eminem is a homophobe and generally disrepectful to women. And his music does nothing for me. But he's inching toward redemption in my eyes with his latest song and powerful get-out-the-vote video. It is available to stream for free on the web:http://search.launch.yahoo.com/search/lsearch/all?p=mosh
Scroll down to"Videos matching "mosh":" and click on Eminem's video.

The bottom line is this: Generally, I don't think of myself as a patriotic person because I think many people mistakenly equate patriotism with jingoist flag-waving silliness. But I do get pretty riled up about voting, because I see voting as the most patriotic thing I as an American can do. This is the fourth election where I've worked the polls, and I hope that Eminem's video helps bring more people in my generation to the voting booths, no matter who (whom?) they vote for. I respect celebrities who use their star status for something they think is important, even if sometimes I disagree with them, because it means they have put their careers on the line for their values. I just hope this one doesn't backfire on Eminem.
Via Jen

Update: http://slate.msn.com/id/2108891/
Via Hilary S.

on being adopted

I have several friends who were adopted. Some have no desire whatsoever to find their birth parents, while others are on a seemingly impossible quest.

I read open brackets occasionally and the woman who writes it mentioned recently how she feels on the subject. As usual, the writing is great and I found her words very thought provoking.