"There is an attorney I know who always jokes 'I gave up Harvard for love,' but I really think it would sound even lamer to say 'I gave up love for Harvard.'"
-My friend Nancy Doig, on choices of the heart
Ah, the things we do for love.
I think Nancy's right. And Princess Sayako's story below appeals to the romantic in me. I guess the lesson here is to choose wisely, which isn't always easy in matters of the heart. I don't think it's as simple as using your head or your heart.
Japanese princess trades palace for apartment: With wedding to commoner, Sayako exits hereditary monarchy
Princess Sayako, the only daughter of Japan’s Emperor Akihito, wed a commoner in a private ceremony at a Tokyo hotel on Tuesday, losing her privileged status as a member of the imperial family.
Sayako, wearing a simple, full-length white silk dress and pearls, walked several steps behind groom Yoshiki Kuroda into a sparsely decorated room where the traditional Shinto ceremony was held.
The couple were greeted by a priest dressed in white silk robes. About 30 close relatives, including the emperor and empress, attended.
Rather than exchanging wedding rings, the half-hour ritual centered on the sipping of cups of sake rice wine.
Marriage to Kuroda, a 40-year-old urban planner, means Sayako, 36, relinquishes her title, swapping the grandeur of the Imperial Palace for an ordinary Tokyo apartment, and trading official duties for housework and the supermarket run.
She is the first daughter of an emperor to marry for 45 years.
mercredi, novembre 16, 2005
quotable
"Exes have a funny way of becoming a thousand times more fuckable the minute they stop being the same inconsiderate fuckface who forgets to replace the liner when they take the garbage out of the can. It's like what they say about childbirth — the body forgets about the pain. Otherwise, people would never want to have a second child or get into another relationship. "
-Erin Bradley, in her "Miss Information" advice column on love and sex
-Erin Bradley, in her "Miss Information" advice column on love and sex
mardi, novembre 15, 2005
running bs
Finals countdown: 34 days until BS statements are just things you write on a test in free-flowing prose, rather than in a tabular format.
Vacation countdown: 40 days until I'm walking (or running) in a winter wonderland.
Vacation countdown: 40 days until I'm walking (or running) in a winter wonderland.
quotable
On grad school, from a friend who is currently writing her thesis:
"The first semester, you're over it.
Somewhere in the middle, you go numb.
Then, at the end, you're over it again."
"The first semester, you're over it.
Somewhere in the middle, you go numb.
Then, at the end, you're over it again."
good times avec les voyous
You never know when photos from a crazy summer in France will surface ... welcome to my misspent well-spent youth.
Watch out for firemen's balls!
Quel souvenir! Oui. Les pompiers ont des très grandes fêtes.
The only way to drink beer is a liter at a time.Quand ils etaient les voyous.
Liberated from mon ami Trevor's MySpace profile.
Watch out for firemen's balls!Quel souvenir! Oui. Les pompiers ont des très grandes fêtes.
The only way to drink beer is a liter at a time.oh for fuck's sake
When putting one's lunch in one's messenger bag, one ought to ensure that said bag remains upright in one's trunk. Otherwise, the Chinese takeout box containing one's chicken Katsu Dan leftovers will spill sauce from the aforementioned leftovers all over the contents of one's bag, including one's planner, calculator, cds, checkbook, and accounting notes.
Fuckfuckfuck. It's a decidedly inauspicious start to my day.
Fuckfuckfuck. It's a decidedly inauspicious start to my day.
lundi, novembre 14, 2005
godless economies of scale
Finals countdown: 35 days until economy of scale only means splitting a ginormous package of Costco toilet paper with Z and Mrs. Z.
Vacation countdown: 41 days until I break bread with a godless liberal, the fundamentalist agnostic, and a quaker couple.
Vacation countdown: 41 days until I break bread with a godless liberal, the fundamentalist agnostic, and a quaker couple.
i am i said
I'm grinning from ear to ear because my Monday has been fantastic so far.
- Aaron stopped by with a video montage of baby pictures set to "Here Comes the Sun."
- Cute photo montages of happy parents and baby: 1
- 6 dewy-eyed women: 0
- My colleague Chris surprised me with a beautiful gift: postcard plates. They are all vintage scenes of Parisian landmarks (La tour Eiffel, Sacre Coeur, the carousel at the base of Montmartre, and the Arc de Triomphe).
- A database at work that was attacked by a virus didn't lose any data. : )
- I just bought tickets to see Neil Diamond in December with my friend Geraghty.
two stops beyond barking
I love idioms.
While looking for the origin of the expression "dead to rights," I stumbled on these Wikipedia pages:
While looking for the origin of the expression "dead to rights," I stumbled on these Wikipedia pages:
- Britishisms
- List of British English words not used in American English
- List of idioms in the English language
pimp my ride of the valkyries
My friend Nancy (and her husband Ryan) submitted their caption to the New Yorker for this week's New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest. They are finalists in contest #26 (the truck/symphony cartoon).
Check it out. And then vote for them, already!
Check it out. And then vote for them, already!
dimanche, novembre 13, 2005
mr. fancy pants
This ebay auction is hilarious. This guy's writing is fantastic. The auction has given him some notoriety, $102.50, and more space in his closet.
DKNY Men's Leather Pants I Unfortunately Own Stylish. Expensive. Very much a bad purchase for me.
Item number: 8335653541
You are bidding on a mistake.
We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of grandma.
And we buy leather pants.
I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I’m stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.
The relationship, probably for better, never materialized. The girl, whose name I can’t even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short.
Ultimately the pants were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly a decade. I would like to emphasize that: Aside from trying these pants on, they have never, ever been worn. In public or private.
I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:
I am not a member of Queen.
I do not like motorcycles.
I am not Rod Stewart.
I am not French.
I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.
These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They’re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.
Again, they’re men’s pants, but they’d probably look great on the right lady. Ladies can get away with leather pants much more often than men can. It’s a sad fact that men who own leather pants will have to come to terms with.
They are size 34x34. I am no longer size 34x34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown - perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate - I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.
These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren’t worn onstage. They didn’t straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.
Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I’m hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you’re trying to bed.
Please buy these leather pants.
Questions from other members : DKNY Men's Leather Pants I Unfortunately Own
Item number: 8335653541
Question & Answer
Q: I'm confused, is Donna Karan a rock star or a transvestite?
A: It's a very fine line, really.
----------------
Q: I have a friend that emails these types of auctions to me for a good laugh and I must admit, yours is the best I have seen in a long time. Your wording and demeanor are perfect. If I had the cake to spend on something I would never wear right now, I would buy them just for the simple fact you made me laugh that hard. I wish you made commercials on TV so I wouldn't be forced to channel surf when they came on. Kudos to you. Are all your descriptions this funny or is this a fluke? Your replies are excellent and this auction should be on Letterman or something. Good luck and thanks for the laugh.
A: I used to write commercials, but they're hard to make funny because the people who make the final decisions are idiots. But maybe you'll like Banterist.com or Sixtysecond.com
----------------
Q: LOL. I once knew a guy who actually wore leather pants, loved them, and was very popular with them. That was 15 years ago...he was Italian...and my uncle's boyfriend. Enough said.
A: Italy shares France's reputation for adultery, leather pants, and aggressiveness to women. Except for your uncle's boyfriend, of course.
----------------
Q: Love the pants but . . . I wonder, how many thongs do you think could be made from them? Fruitcreek.
A: For Americans? 15. French? 45.
----------------
Q: Are these pants worthy of cruising for transvestites while in my Maserati? I just got one and need an outfit that would go with my new car.
A: I think leather pants would accent that mid-life crisis quite nicely.
----------------
Q: I just wanted to tell you that you made me laugh aloud! First, when my husband was in high school he apparently bought a white satin Michael Jacksonesque multi-zippered jacket from The Chess King under strikingly similar circumstances. I wonder if it is the same chick . . . Second, my husband and I recently hosted a white trash party, Trailerpalooza. We had been to a 38 Special concert and decided to knock off thier look. So we each bought pleather pants (though these beauties would have been perfect!) and I then sewed flame fabric to the bottoms, as if it was lapping up the legs. We also got leather jackets which we adorned with a bit of flame fabric. Well, somehow, I came out looking like a badass, but my poor husband looked like a homo. In fact someone actually said, -It's amazing how pleather makes Shari look so bad, and Rick so gay.- I wish I had a picture on my computer, because I think it would make you laugh! Anyway, good luck with the sale of your magic pants!
A: When I was a busboy at El Torito I remember a waiter who saved up hundreds for a replica Michael Jackson 'Beat It' jacket. Zippers everywhere. At the time I thought he was a god. Now I think he's probably buried in someone's tomato garden.
----------------
Q: Thank you for the inspiration. I am now thinking of ebaying every little thing....and I do mean little thing that I ever wore to be a man pleaser/enticer. That would have to include stiletto heels, leather bustiers, gstrings and the like.....hmmm, wait a minute....now that I think about it....I might have to bid on those pants and create an ensemble....for myself. Did I mention that I am 5'2?
A: Hello Senator Clinton.
----------------
Q: FUNNY!! I too have a pair of leather pants to sell and for very similar reasons. Mine also have severe case of closet shrinkage. Thanks for the laugh and happy selling. tom
A: Hmm. Maybe we know the same girl.
----------------
Q: I would like to be tough, gay or a rock star. Do you think purchasing and subsequently donning these trousers will help?
A: Probably not if you call them 'trousers.' A true rockstar would say 'pants' or 'duds' or something more rock-star-y, like 'ladykillers.'
----------------
Q: If they did still fit.. and I wasn't married, would you wear them for me? LOL.. best of luck!
A: Yes, but only if I was wearing a pink tank top and re-enacting Billy Squier's regrettable 'Rock me tonight' video.
----------------
Q: No question, just wanted to tell you this is the best listing i've ever read. I'm sorry it didn't work out with the short girl, but am so proud of you for never wearing these. :) Good luck with your sale!
A: Thank you. I'll be free of them in less than two days, and at least $76 closer to owning a yacht.
----------------
Q: I don't actually need the pants... and they wouldn't fit my less than womanly curves even if I could pull them off- but I could not resist telling you what a fabulous ad this is. While reason prevailed in the end, I was almost convinced to buy the pants if for no other reason than to see if I could be coy enough to get a man to wear them in hopes of a relationship with me... fabulous ad, just fabulous.
A: Sadly I lack the ability to sell people things they don't need - unlike Ron Popeil and The Sharper Image.
----------------
Q: You express yourself exactly like my ex-fiancee. I had to check if you lived in Boulder, CO just to see if you were him. I really didn't think anyone else had his matter of fact mixed with twisted humor personality. Ten years ago I was just ending our relationship so I was going thinking that possibly he bought these pants to try and woo a little waitress vixen with an IQ half that of her bust size. By the way, the last person that claimed that you were stereotyping, did you for some reason envision Dueling Banjos playing in the background with a man sporting a greased back mullet and a makeshift spittoon, and, of course, comfy leather pants, or was that just me?
A: Yes, the grammar and tone said 'Deliverance' but the leather pants in church said 'Wham UK'. So I'm confused.
----------------
Q: you enjoy stereotyping people that wear leather dont ya, you think owning leather is gay, let me tell you something i am not gay, i am not famous, dont ride a bike, and unlike i aint a coward. i do own 2 pairs of them, to me they are more comfy than blue jeans ever will be, i where them anywhere i want including church, no ones ever said nothing about them
A: More important: Do you need a pair of 34x34 leather pants?
----------------
Q: I am in a band, but do not wear leather pants. However, if I DID wear leather pants, your pants are the ones I would buy because your description is...eloquent and touching in a leatherish sort of way. May we post your ad on our site?
A: I think I answered this already, but eBay is asking it again for some reason. Thank you for being polite and seeking permission. Sure, you can post it. After all, I'm trying to sell pants.
----------------
Q: Bsack, I'm an editor for Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) (http:// www.poormojo.org), a weekly online magazine now entering its sixth year of publication. We'd like to run the text of your posting, with the image of the glorious pants, as a rant on our site. May we do so? Our submission guidlines can be found here: http://www.poormojo.org/submission.html (Long story short: we owe you a beer for one piece--provided you came to Ann Arbor or SF, CA to pick it up--or will reward you with a PMjA t-shirt after we've published 5 of your pieces.) Interested? Best, Dave . . . Editor and Technologist PMjA
A: Sure, if you don't mind that it's already on Banterist.com
----------------
Q: Well, it looks like you're going to sell them. They're too big for me anyway and I'm female. You're a great writer -- so natural, so funny. I think you should be in standup. Thank you so much for making my day.
A: Thank you for the kind words. In lieu of standup I post things on Banterist.com. The hours are better and there's no drink minimum.
----------------
Q: For Mr. VBMX: If he were gay, he would know what boot cut means. What does VBMX mean?
A: I'm not sure. It sounds like a missile.
----------------
Q: Hi, Sorry I don't want the leather pants but just had to write and say I really had a good laugh at your description!! I really hope you sell them .... and not to a guy! Good luck! Jeannette
A: If you change your mind and want the pants, I'll be waiting patiently by the keyboard.
----------------
Q: Seen your ad on VBMX.com.....are you gay? LOL Just kidding!! I would claim these on VBMX!! Now all the guys are gonna think of you as a sissy!! LOL!!! Good luck bro!!
A: Thanks. That's a lot of exclamation points.
Via DFP
DKNY Men's Leather Pants I Unfortunately Own Stylish. Expensive. Very much a bad purchase for me.Item number: 8335653541
You are bidding on a mistake.
We all make mistakes. We date the wrong people for too long. We chew gum with our mouths open. We say inappropriate things in front of grandma.
And we buy leather pants.
I can explain these pants and why they are in my possession. I bought them many, many years ago under the spell of a woman whom I believed to have taste. She suggested I try them on. I did. She said they looked good. I wanted to have a relationship of sorts with her. I’m stupid and prone to impulsive decisions. I bought the pants.
The relationship, probably for better, never materialized. The girl, whose name I can’t even recall, is a distant memory. I think she was short.
Ultimately the pants were placed in the closet where they have remained, unworn, for nearly a decade. I would like to emphasize that: Aside from trying these pants on, they have never, ever been worn. In public or private.
I have not worn these leather pants for the following reasons:
I am not a member of Queen.
I do not like motorcycles.
I am not Rod Stewart.
I am not French.
I do not cruise for transvestites in an expensive sports car.
These were not cheap leather pants. They are Donna Karan leather pants. They’re for men. Brave men, I would think. Perhaps tattooed, pierced men. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say you either have to be very tough, very gay, or very famous to wear these pants and get away with it.
Again, they’re men’s pants, but they’d probably look great on the right lady. Ladies can get away with leather pants much more often than men can. It’s a sad fact that men who own leather pants will have to come to terms with.
They are size 34x34. I am no longer size 34x34, so even were I to suddenly decide I was a famous gay biker I would not be able to wear these pants. These pants are destined for someone else. For reasons unknown - perhaps to keep my options open, in case I wanted to become a pirate - I have shuffled these unworn pants from house to house, closet to closet. Alas, it is now time to part ways so that I may use the extra room for any rhinestone-studded jeans I may purchase in the future.
These pants are in excellent condition. They were never taken on pirate expeditions. They weren’t worn onstage. They didn’t straddle a Harley, or a guy named Harley. They just hung there, sad and ignored, for a few presidencies.
Someone, somewhere, will look great in these pants. I’m hoping that someone is you, or that you can be suckered into buying them by a girl you’re trying to bed.
Please buy these leather pants.
Questions from other members : DKNY Men's Leather Pants I Unfortunately Own
Item number: 8335653541
Question & Answer
Q: I'm confused, is Donna Karan a rock star or a transvestite?
A: It's a very fine line, really.
----------------
Q: I have a friend that emails these types of auctions to me for a good laugh and I must admit, yours is the best I have seen in a long time. Your wording and demeanor are perfect. If I had the cake to spend on something I would never wear right now, I would buy them just for the simple fact you made me laugh that hard. I wish you made commercials on TV so I wouldn't be forced to channel surf when they came on. Kudos to you. Are all your descriptions this funny or is this a fluke? Your replies are excellent and this auction should be on Letterman or something. Good luck and thanks for the laugh.
A: I used to write commercials, but they're hard to make funny because the people who make the final decisions are idiots. But maybe you'll like Banterist.com or Sixtysecond.com
----------------
Q: LOL. I once knew a guy who actually wore leather pants, loved them, and was very popular with them. That was 15 years ago...he was Italian...and my uncle's boyfriend. Enough said.
A: Italy shares France's reputation for adultery, leather pants, and aggressiveness to women. Except for your uncle's boyfriend, of course.
----------------
Q: Love the pants but . . . I wonder, how many thongs do you think could be made from them? Fruitcreek.
A: For Americans? 15. French? 45.
----------------
Q: Are these pants worthy of cruising for transvestites while in my Maserati? I just got one and need an outfit that would go with my new car.
A: I think leather pants would accent that mid-life crisis quite nicely.
----------------
Q: I just wanted to tell you that you made me laugh aloud! First, when my husband was in high school he apparently bought a white satin Michael Jacksonesque multi-zippered jacket from The Chess King under strikingly similar circumstances. I wonder if it is the same chick . . . Second, my husband and I recently hosted a white trash party, Trailerpalooza. We had been to a 38 Special concert and decided to knock off thier look. So we each bought pleather pants (though these beauties would have been perfect!) and I then sewed flame fabric to the bottoms, as if it was lapping up the legs. We also got leather jackets which we adorned with a bit of flame fabric. Well, somehow, I came out looking like a badass, but my poor husband looked like a homo. In fact someone actually said, -It's amazing how pleather makes Shari look so bad, and Rick so gay.- I wish I had a picture on my computer, because I think it would make you laugh! Anyway, good luck with the sale of your magic pants!
A: When I was a busboy at El Torito I remember a waiter who saved up hundreds for a replica Michael Jackson 'Beat It' jacket. Zippers everywhere. At the time I thought he was a god. Now I think he's probably buried in someone's tomato garden.
----------------
Q: Thank you for the inspiration. I am now thinking of ebaying every little thing....and I do mean little thing that I ever wore to be a man pleaser/enticer. That would have to include stiletto heels, leather bustiers, gstrings and the like.....hmmm, wait a minute....now that I think about it....I might have to bid on those pants and create an ensemble....for myself. Did I mention that I am 5'2?
A: Hello Senator Clinton.
----------------
Q: FUNNY!! I too have a pair of leather pants to sell and for very similar reasons. Mine also have severe case of closet shrinkage. Thanks for the laugh and happy selling. tom
A: Hmm. Maybe we know the same girl.
----------------
Q: I would like to be tough, gay or a rock star. Do you think purchasing and subsequently donning these trousers will help?
A: Probably not if you call them 'trousers.' A true rockstar would say 'pants' or 'duds' or something more rock-star-y, like 'ladykillers.'
----------------
Q: If they did still fit.. and I wasn't married, would you wear them for me? LOL.. best of luck!
A: Yes, but only if I was wearing a pink tank top and re-enacting Billy Squier's regrettable 'Rock me tonight' video.
----------------
Q: No question, just wanted to tell you this is the best listing i've ever read. I'm sorry it didn't work out with the short girl, but am so proud of you for never wearing these. :) Good luck with your sale!
A: Thank you. I'll be free of them in less than two days, and at least $76 closer to owning a yacht.
----------------
Q: I don't actually need the pants... and they wouldn't fit my less than womanly curves even if I could pull them off- but I could not resist telling you what a fabulous ad this is. While reason prevailed in the end, I was almost convinced to buy the pants if for no other reason than to see if I could be coy enough to get a man to wear them in hopes of a relationship with me... fabulous ad, just fabulous.
A: Sadly I lack the ability to sell people things they don't need - unlike Ron Popeil and The Sharper Image.
----------------
Q: You express yourself exactly like my ex-fiancee. I had to check if you lived in Boulder, CO just to see if you were him. I really didn't think anyone else had his matter of fact mixed with twisted humor personality. Ten years ago I was just ending our relationship so I was going thinking that possibly he bought these pants to try and woo a little waitress vixen with an IQ half that of her bust size. By the way, the last person that claimed that you were stereotyping, did you for some reason envision Dueling Banjos playing in the background with a man sporting a greased back mullet and a makeshift spittoon, and, of course, comfy leather pants, or was that just me?
A: Yes, the grammar and tone said 'Deliverance' but the leather pants in church said 'Wham UK'. So I'm confused.
----------------
Q: you enjoy stereotyping people that wear leather dont ya, you think owning leather is gay, let me tell you something i am not gay, i am not famous, dont ride a bike, and unlike i aint a coward. i do own 2 pairs of them, to me they are more comfy than blue jeans ever will be, i where them anywhere i want including church, no ones ever said nothing about them
A: More important: Do you need a pair of 34x34 leather pants?
----------------
Q: I am in a band, but do not wear leather pants. However, if I DID wear leather pants, your pants are the ones I would buy because your description is...eloquent and touching in a leatherish sort of way. May we post your ad on our site?
A: I think I answered this already, but eBay is asking it again for some reason. Thank you for being polite and seeking permission. Sure, you can post it. After all, I'm trying to sell pants.
----------------
Q: Bsack, I'm an editor for Poor Mojo's Almanac(k) (http:// www.poormojo.org), a weekly online magazine now entering its sixth year of publication. We'd like to run the text of your posting, with the image of the glorious pants, as a rant on our site. May we do so? Our submission guidlines can be found here: http://www.poormojo.org/submission.html (Long story short: we owe you a beer for one piece--provided you came to Ann Arbor or SF, CA to pick it up--or will reward you with a PMjA t-shirt after we've published 5 of your pieces.) Interested? Best, Dave . . . Editor and Technologist PMjA
A: Sure, if you don't mind that it's already on Banterist.com
----------------
Q: Well, it looks like you're going to sell them. They're too big for me anyway and I'm female. You're a great writer -- so natural, so funny. I think you should be in standup. Thank you so much for making my day.
A: Thank you for the kind words. In lieu of standup I post things on Banterist.com. The hours are better and there's no drink minimum.
----------------
Q: For Mr. VBMX: If he were gay, he would know what boot cut means. What does VBMX mean?
A: I'm not sure. It sounds like a missile.
----------------
Q: Hi, Sorry I don't want the leather pants but just had to write and say I really had a good laugh at your description!! I really hope you sell them .... and not to a guy! Good luck! Jeannette
A: If you change your mind and want the pants, I'll be waiting patiently by the keyboard.
----------------
Q: Seen your ad on VBMX.com.....are you gay? LOL Just kidding!! I would claim these on VBMX!! Now all the guys are gonna think of you as a sissy!! LOL!!! Good luck bro!!
A: Thanks. That's a lot of exclamation points.
Via DFP
breathing marginal analysis
Finals countdown: 36 days to not caring about marginal analysis.
Vacation countdown: 42 days until I can see my breath whenever I'm outside.
Vacation countdown: 42 days until I can see my breath whenever I'm outside.
consider yourself warned
If you haven't been to Paris, this is just a weird cartoon. But if you've ridden le metro, you know that those doors hurt when they slam shut on your body. Just ask Tatjana.
Liberated from mon ami Trevor's MySpace profile.
Liberated from mon ami Trevor's MySpace profile.
samedi, novembre 12, 2005
p&l dancing
Finals countdown: 37 days to saying goodbye to P&L statements.
Vacation countdown: 43 days until I can dance stupidly with my favorite wacko liberal.
Vacation countdown: 43 days until I can dance stupidly with my favorite wacko liberal.
quotable
"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five."
-Groucho Marx (1890 – 1977), American comedian
-Groucho Marx (1890 – 1977), American comedian
goals
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams — live the life you've imagined."
-Henry David Thoreau (July 12, 1817 – May 6, 1862; born David Henry Thoreau), American author, development critic, naturalist, transcendentalist, pacifist, tax resister and philosopher.
I wrote these goals about four years ago. They are all still relevant and very much reflect who I am, how I see myself, and how I want to live my life. Much has changed since I wrote them, and I added one today to acknowledge the most important shift in who I am.
It's time to celebrate the fact that I'm living the life I've imagined.
-Henry David Thoreau (July 12, 1817 – May 6, 1862; born David Henry Thoreau), American author, development critic, naturalist, transcendentalist, pacifist, tax resister and philosopher.
I wrote these goals about four years ago. They are all still relevant and very much reflect who I am, how I see myself, and how I want to live my life. Much has changed since I wrote them, and I added one today to acknowledge the most important shift in who I am.
It's time to celebrate the fact that I'm living the life I've imagined.
- Leave a legacy— make the world better for having been here.
- Be rich in experiences and friends.
- Live passionately, joyfully, and without regret.
- Expand my worldview— live abroad and travel extensively.
- Seek knowledge — constantly take classes and surround myself with interesting and intelligent people.
- Achieve balance in all areas of my life.
- Strive to be healthy — physically, emotionally, and mentally.
- Take risks and be more spontaneous.
- Enjoy the present— be here in the moment, doing this.
vendredi, novembre 11, 2005
boot elasticity
Finals countdown: 38 days to never caring about elasticity (except for in my clothing) again.
Vacation countdown: 44 days to buy some boots, already.
multi-slacking
My friend Ellie mentioned multi-shirking as a euphemism for procrastination today. I liked that, and then remembered this term: multi-slacking.
Similar to multi-tasking with computers, it involves engaging in a variety of applications on a computer. However, in multi-slacking, this definition is restricted to include one or more of the following: gaming, chatting, listening to music, web browsing (non-educational), hacking, pirating, posting on forums, watching videos, or viewing pr0n.Via urbandictionary.com
AP Comp Sci is the perfect chance to practice my multi-slacking skills.
jeudi, novembre 10, 2005
amadeus, amadeus
 |  |
Can you distinguish Wolfy from Salieri?
Via Wacky Neighbor
ah, mcsweeney's
Reasons Bloggers Hate the Mainstream MediaBy William Wolfe (11/4/05)
Comments From the Crowd Gathering Around the Body of Phidippides, Reporter of the Greek Victory Over the Persians at Marathon, Soon After He Gasped, "We Won," and DiedBy Brian Hubbard (10/28/05)
What I Like About YouBy James Muldowney (10/28/05)
Rejected Bond GirlsBy Rebecca Waits (10/28/05)
My Rejected Cooking Show IdeasBy Dan Kennedy (10/21/05)
Leonard Cohen's Seven Immutable Laws of BusinessBy Ken Krimstein (10/21/05)
Other Places Jimmy Buffett Wasted AwayBy Chris Steck (10/14/05)
Subjects of "Light Bulb" Jokes That Will Probably Lead to Boring Punch LinesBy Peter J. Woods (10/14/05)
Five Ill-Fated Store NamesBy V. Einstein (10/14/05)
The Names of the President and the Members of the Presidential Cabinet According to the Etymological Backgrounds of Their First and Last Names, and of Their Middle Names When AvailableBy Jørgen G. Cleemann (10/12/05)
If Yosemite Sam's Curses Were Considered Real Profanity and Were Dubbed Over for Television in the Same Clumsy, Unconvincing Manner as 1980s R-Rated MoviesBy Martin Bell (10/7/05)
Ways in Which the Disinterred Corpse of Silent-Film Actor Lon Chaney Would Be a Better Vice President Than Dick CheneyBy Ian Adams (10/7/05)
As Yet Unrecognized by Microsoft WindowsBy Adam Chapman (10/5/05)
Fruit-Drink Flavors That Never Took OffBy Ben Weinberg (10/5/05)
Things You Would Say If You Had a Time Machine and Lots of Financial ProblemsBy Lynette Cain (9/30/05)
State Songs, If They All Suggested the Apathy of Idaho's "Here We Have Idaho"By Craig Robertson (9/30/05)
Ed Harrelson, Teen-Driver's-Education InstructorBy Sean Carman (9/30/05)
7 Habits of Highly Successful PeopleBy Brendon Lloyd (9/23/05)
Stories About My PumaBy Meg Favreau (9/23/05)
Companies at the Vanguard of the New Era in Christian MarketingBy Ned Rust (9/23/05)
What Thoreau Is MissingBy Shannon Peach (9/16/05)
I Can Never Recall the Name of Brooklyn's New Hip BandBy Dan Kennedy (9/16/05)
Methods Other Than Song by Which One Can Be Killed SoftlyBy Jonathan Holley and Emily Lawton (9/16/05)
Modern Air-Guitar AlternativesBy Steve McKnight (9/9/05)
Excerpts From the "Band Members Wanted" Section of the New York Musicians' Exchange (Circa 1987)By John Dadey (9/9/05)
Poker Terminology I Feel I Could Get Away With Saying If I Ever Played a TournamentBy Andy Sutherland (9/9/05)
Things Hagrid the Half-Giant Would Say If He Served Jesus Instead of Harry PotterBy Hart Seely (9/6/05)
Not-So-Good Names for Murder MysteriesBy Kevin Thoreson (9/2/05)
Places You Might Find JesusBy Jessy Henderson (9/2/05)
Directors' Commentaries From My DVD CollectionBy John Mancini (9/2/05)
Totalitarian Institutions That Would Have Been More Fitting for George Orwell's 1984, Considering How That Year Turned OutBy Patrick Cassels (8/26/05)
Chapter Titles From My Creationist TextbookBy David Ng (8/26/05)
Klingon Fairy TalesBy Mike Richardson-Bryan (8/22/05)
Things Koala Bears Would SayBy Tim Weinmann (8/19/05)
Other Poll Questions That May One Day Appear on an Unnamed Internet News Website, Given Its Recently Asked Question "Have You Ever Been in an Accident Involving a Plane?" Following the Air France CrashBy Tracey Harrington and Meredith O'Donnell (8/19/05)
Poorly Selling T-ShirtsBy Josh Knisely (8/19/05)
Elements Waiting Patiently for Inclusion on the Periodic TableBy Scott Gold and Katie McHugh (8/17/05)
Ways One Could, in Theory, Fight the SeetherBy Stephen Walsh (8/17/05)
Nonverbal Cues in Bizarro's WorldBy Ted Sanchez (8/17/05)
Things My Brother Has That I Don'tBy Scott Evan Newcomb (8/12/05)
Ten Precepts From The Art of War That Never Made It Past Sun Tzu's EditorBy John Kearney (8/12/05)
Acts Prohibited by the U.S. House of Representatives' Proposed Flag-Burning AmendmentBy James Erwin (8/10/05)
Less-Threatening Islamist GroupsBy Chris Wilkinson (8/10/05)
it's beginning to feel a lot like ...
Autumn.
Exhibit a: The leaves are finally changing colors and dropping off the trees.
Exhibit b: My house was a bit chilly when I stepped out of the bathroom after showering this morning.
Exhibit c: I just ate half a turkey sandwich and a piece of pumpkin pie for lunch.
Exhibit d: I've had 4 cups of tea today, because it's a gloomy, rainy day outside. Pity that I'm spending it at work. As I suck down more Tazo Decaffeinated Chai Tea, I'm thinking that there are so many better ways I could be spending this day.
Finals countdown: 39 days to freedom.
Vacation countdown: 45 days until I leave on a jet plane.
Exhibit a: The leaves are finally changing colors and dropping off the trees.
Exhibit b: My house was a bit chilly when I stepped out of the bathroom after showering this morning.
Exhibit c: I just ate half a turkey sandwich and a piece of pumpkin pie for lunch.
Exhibit d: I've had 4 cups of tea today, because it's a gloomy, rainy day outside. Pity that I'm spending it at work. As I suck down more Tazo Decaffeinated Chai Tea, I'm thinking that there are so many better ways I could be spending this day.
Finals countdown: 39 days to freedom.
Vacation countdown: 45 days until I leave on a jet plane.
embracing my geekdom
"To thine own self be true."-William Shakespeare
"I yam what I yam."
-Popeye
I found out yesterday that I got an "A" in my first class in grad school. I was over the moon for a few reasons, namely:
- I didn't think I had a shot at that grade.
- I worked damn hard for that A.
- It's grad school for chrissakes. I did well and I'm proud of myself.
"Hey Happy, that's terrific. (nerd)
You should be proud. (geek)
I hope you are out celebrating. (Like I'm one to talk.)"
My response was something like:
"No such luck. I'm in my accounting class right now.
And yes, I am a geek.
But a chic geek. With serious geek cred."
It's true. I've never made an effort to hide my intelligence. When I was younger, I was pretty obnoxious about showing my peers how much smarter I (thought I) was than them. It didn't make me any friends, but at the time, my social skills sucked (I'm an only child) and I wasn't a fabulous athlete or the prettiest girl in the class. For that reason, my brain became my stock-in-trade.
Nowadays, my interpersonal skills are much improved, I'm a well-balanced individual, and I've been taken down several notches. It's a function of discovering that although I'm a reasonably intelligent woman, I'm not the smartest person I know. I can think of at least 20 people in my immediate social circle who are much smarter than me, and I think that's a good thing, because there's a great deal to be learned from people like that.
Most of all, I'm at peace with my inner geek because I've realized that smart is sexy no matter how you slice it.
mercredi, novembre 09, 2005
quotable
"New York's pretty cool — it's almost like another country."
-My friend Noah Hansen, responding to the news that I'll be going to New York instead of Peru this year.
-My friend Noah Hansen, responding to the news that I'll be going to New York instead of Peru this year.
beauty in ordinary things
One of the best tips I ever got for taking better pictures was to get closer to the subject.
In this case, Ben used his digital microscope to get an extreme close-up of my writing on a CD. I especially like the bubble surface imperfections. I also like seeing how the ink dried in a narrower path.
In this case, Ben used his digital microscope to get an extreme close-up of my writing on a CD. I especially like the bubble surface imperfections. I also like seeing how the ink dried in a narrower path.
san diego deviant
As my friend Jason put it, "the proposition process is like trying to kill a fly with a sledgehammer."
Although I voted with the majority of Californians on almost every issue on yesterday's ballot, I'm completely out of step with my fellow San Diegans on parental consent for abortions, teacher tenure, union dues, and who should be mayor.
Thank goodness for the other wacko liberals in this state who helped defeat 73, 74, and 75.
Take a look at this map, which shows how California voted on proposition 73, which would have required parental notification for abortions.
Note: The use of red and blue here is problematic, as blue on this map really is a conservative vote.
Although I voted with the majority of Californians on almost every issue on yesterday's ballot, I'm completely out of step with my fellow San Diegans on parental consent for abortions, teacher tenure, union dues, and who should be mayor.
Thank goodness for the other wacko liberals in this state who helped defeat 73, 74, and 75.
Take a look at this map, which shows how California voted on proposition 73, which would have required parental notification for abortions.
Note: The use of red and blue here is problematic, as blue on this map really is a conservative vote.
 | |
| San Diego County Returns | County Returns Statewide County Status |
| |
Propositions Yes Votes Pct. No Votes Pct. | |
73 Y Minor's Pregnancy 345,494 54.9 284,339 45.1 | |
74 Y Teacher Tenure 350,893 55.4 283,306 44.6 | |
75 Y Public Union Dues 365,475 57.8 267,699 42.2 | |
76 N Spending/Funding 302,758 47.9 328,152 52.1 | |
77 N Redistricting 296,146 47.3 329,799 52.7 | |
78 N Rx Drug Discounts 284,930 46.1 332,924 53.9 | |
79 N Rx Drug Rebates 233,053 38.2 375,726 61.8 | |
80 N Electric Regulation 215,963 36.0 383,007 64.0 | |
| |
Y - Proposition is passing |
mardi, novembre 08, 2005
les émeutes
Here's today's French word for the day, courtesy of my friend Chris: les émeutes. It means "the riots."
how to vote like a wacko liberal (me)
| Issue | Wacko liberal says | Me | Dem | Green |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 73 | No abortions for minors until 48 hours after parental notification. | No | No | No |
| 74 | Arnold is pissed at the teachers, so he makes working as a teacher a less attractive career option (longer time until tenure, easier to fire teachers). | No | No | No |
| 75 | Arnold is angry at the unions. He wants to make it harder for them to fund political issues. It'd be better if this rule was enforced on all organizations and corporations, why single out the unions? Oh right, 'cause the unions don't like Arnold, but the Corporations do. | No | No | No |
| 76 | Arnold wants unilateral power to control the budget on school and community colleges. See above issue about how Arnold is mad at the teachers. | No | No | No |
| 77 | Let retired judges using outdated census information make redistricting decisions, as opposed to the current more open and voted upon system. | No | No | No |
| 78 | Prescription drugs discounted the way the large pharmicutical companies want them to be discounted. So basically a discount program without any teeth. Seems to be known as the "Business written" discount plan. | No | No | No |
| 79 | Prescription drugs discounted in a more measured and regulated way. Sorta known as the "consumer written" discount plan. If this plan is created it would cost the state somewhere in the 5-12 million dollar range, depending how much the state wants to push the program. | Yes | Yes | Yes |
| 80 | A re-regulation of the power/utility companies. The good is that things would be re-regulated, the bad is that the people who would be in charge of the regulation (CPUC) are oft-criticized by consumer groups. The downside is that various renewable energy folks say (reasonably) that it will set an upper limit on renewable energy use just at a time when interest in renewable is beginning to boom. While reregulation seems to be a good thing, it seems the people who crafted it did not consult with the renewables people. This stuff is complicated and is yet another example of why ballot initiatives suck. On the whole, we will be better off if this goes down and something better gets proposed. | No | Yes | n/a |
the maudlin politico
There's a special election today in California and my parents, bless their (conservative) hearts, are working the polls in the town where I grew up.
Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I'm an über liberal who's passionate about politics. I come by it honestly — my mother was working as a diplomat in Madrid when she and my father met. (She was the cultural attachée for the Paraguayan government, which at the time, was a junta under Alfredo Stroessner.) And my father's always been a role model of civic engagement. So you might say that politics are in my blood.
The poli sci geek in me still smiles when I think about the '5' I earned on the AP US Government & Politics exam in high school. It's no surprise that I majored in political science, history, and sociology as an undergrad. Or that I've worked the polls five times. I used to volunteer with the International Rescue Committee, helping would-be citizens practice for their US citizenship civics exams. I've phone banked for several candidates and issues. I'm a religious NPR listener, New York Times reader, and all-around political animal. I belong to the National Organization for Women and am a card-carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union. And if I still had cable, you can bet your ass that I'd be watching Jon Stewart or Bill Maher right now.
I'm currently reading Sarah Vowell's "The Partly Cloudy Patriot," an insightful gift from a friend. As I laugh my way through the pages, I'm realizing that I'm not the only one who grew up weirdly fascinated by all things political.
When I was a little girl, I remember being very excited to go to the polls with my father. (My mother was not a citizen; therefore, she couldn't vote.) My dad's polling place was in a neighbor's garage. A large American flag was posted on the door and Popi and I would quietly wait until it was his turn to step into the booth with his ballot book and vote.
My childhood was also filled with current events. Each night, my dad would turn on the evening news and read the newspaper. Over dinner, my father and mother would talk about politics and world events and when I was old enough, I joined the discussion.
In 1987, my dad asked my mother and I where we wanted to go on our summer vacation and I said "Washington D.C., Williamsburg, and Philadelphia." My mom wanted to go to France (it was the 200th anniversary of the revolution), but that would have to wait. After all, I was a twelve-year-old on a mission to see American history first-hand and it was the 200th anniversary of the constitutional convention. That passion continued in Mike Black's US history class and I won more than a few trivia and history challenges at Cope Junior High.
By the time I reached high school, I took AP US History from Tim Knapp and AP US Government & Politics from Mike Ware. I read Supreme Court decisions with passion and debated my classmates and teachers. By my senior year, I was a raging liberal and my parents were even more conservative than they had been to begin with. Sidebar: My father is GOP or die. My mom is a fascist. I say that because her family supported Franco in the Spanish Civil War. And she's spoken fondly of the dictator's draconian policies. I should ask her about Guernica sometime ...
Anyhow, there's a moment in "The Breakfast Club" where the Anthony Michael Hall nerd character is being ridiculed for his really crappy fake ID. When asked why he has it, he says "so I can vote." Although I never got the fake ID, I can honestly say that I related to that sentiment.
I went away to college when I was seventeen. That year, I fell in love with Bill Clinton's ideas and the prospect that he and Al Gore might actually unseat George H. W. Bush and be the first Democrats in office in what seemed like forever. I got into interesting arguments with Reza Naima, who lived upstairs in my dorm and was a hardcore Libertarian and fellow U2 fan. I debated with my father, who planned to vote the party line, and with my mother, who was so disgusted with Bush that she decided to phone bank for Perot, even though she wasn't a US citizen. (Her frustration at not being able to cast her vote was what made her finally trade in her green card and become a US citizen. That, and the fact that she's always recoiled at the 'Resident Alien' label. I can't say that I blame her.)
The first time I got to vote, I was so proud that I actually got a bit dewy-eyed at the polls. I also distinctly remember a photograph on the front page of the Los Angeles Times my sophomore year, showing a snaking line of people queued up at sunset to vote in the first free elections in South Africa. The caption included a detail about how most of them had gotten in line well before sunrise. Later that year, I read about SNCC volunteers during Freedom Summer and learned the horrible fates of Emmitt Till, Michael Schwerner, James Cheney, and Andrew Goodman. Then, a few years after graduation, I recoiled in shock when I learned the inhumane way that Matthew Shepard spent the last hours of his life. Just a few months ago, I was introduced to the story of Alice Paul and the other Iron-Jawed Angels.
And that's why I'm headed to the polls today and exercising my right to vote, in spite of New York Times articles that tell me voting is a purely symbolic act. I'll do my best to keep from getting tears in my eyes when I sign the registrar's roster for my precinct. The truth is I'm secretly glad to be maudlin about it. I revel in goosebumps and feeling my heart in my throat as I step into the voting booth.
Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I'm an über liberal who's passionate about politics. I come by it honestly — my mother was working as a diplomat in Madrid when she and my father met. (She was the cultural attachée for the Paraguayan government, which at the time, was a junta under Alfredo Stroessner.) And my father's always been a role model of civic engagement. So you might say that politics are in my blood.
The poli sci geek in me still smiles when I think about the '5' I earned on the AP US Government & Politics exam in high school. It's no surprise that I majored in political science, history, and sociology as an undergrad. Or that I've worked the polls five times. I used to volunteer with the International Rescue Committee, helping would-be citizens practice for their US citizenship civics exams. I've phone banked for several candidates and issues. I'm a religious NPR listener, New York Times reader, and all-around political animal. I belong to the National Organization for Women and am a card-carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union. And if I still had cable, you can bet your ass that I'd be watching Jon Stewart or Bill Maher right now.
I'm currently reading Sarah Vowell's "The Partly Cloudy Patriot," an insightful gift from a friend. As I laugh my way through the pages, I'm realizing that I'm not the only one who grew up weirdly fascinated by all things political.
When I was a little girl, I remember being very excited to go to the polls with my father. (My mother was not a citizen; therefore, she couldn't vote.) My dad's polling place was in a neighbor's garage. A large American flag was posted on the door and Popi and I would quietly wait until it was his turn to step into the booth with his ballot book and vote.
My childhood was also filled with current events. Each night, my dad would turn on the evening news and read the newspaper. Over dinner, my father and mother would talk about politics and world events and when I was old enough, I joined the discussion.
In 1987, my dad asked my mother and I where we wanted to go on our summer vacation and I said "Washington D.C., Williamsburg, and Philadelphia." My mom wanted to go to France (it was the 200th anniversary of the revolution), but that would have to wait. After all, I was a twelve-year-old on a mission to see American history first-hand and it was the 200th anniversary of the constitutional convention. That passion continued in Mike Black's US history class and I won more than a few trivia and history challenges at Cope Junior High.
By the time I reached high school, I took AP US History from Tim Knapp and AP US Government & Politics from Mike Ware. I read Supreme Court decisions with passion and debated my classmates and teachers. By my senior year, I was a raging liberal and my parents were even more conservative than they had been to begin with. Sidebar: My father is GOP or die. My mom is a fascist. I say that because her family supported Franco in the Spanish Civil War. And she's spoken fondly of the dictator's draconian policies. I should ask her about Guernica sometime ...
Anyhow, there's a moment in "The Breakfast Club" where the Anthony Michael Hall nerd character is being ridiculed for his really crappy fake ID. When asked why he has it, he says "so I can vote." Although I never got the fake ID, I can honestly say that I related to that sentiment.
I went away to college when I was seventeen. That year, I fell in love with Bill Clinton's ideas and the prospect that he and Al Gore might actually unseat George H. W. Bush and be the first Democrats in office in what seemed like forever. I got into interesting arguments with Reza Naima, who lived upstairs in my dorm and was a hardcore Libertarian and fellow U2 fan. I debated with my father, who planned to vote the party line, and with my mother, who was so disgusted with Bush that she decided to phone bank for Perot, even though she wasn't a US citizen. (Her frustration at not being able to cast her vote was what made her finally trade in her green card and become a US citizen. That, and the fact that she's always recoiled at the 'Resident Alien' label. I can't say that I blame her.)
The first time I got to vote, I was so proud that I actually got a bit dewy-eyed at the polls. I also distinctly remember a photograph on the front page of the Los Angeles Times my sophomore year, showing a snaking line of people queued up at sunset to vote in the first free elections in South Africa. The caption included a detail about how most of them had gotten in line well before sunrise. Later that year, I read about SNCC volunteers during Freedom Summer and learned the horrible fates of Emmitt Till, Michael Schwerner, James Cheney, and Andrew Goodman. Then, a few years after graduation, I recoiled in shock when I learned the inhumane way that Matthew Shepard spent the last hours of his life. Just a few months ago, I was introduced to the story of Alice Paul and the other Iron-Jawed Angels.
And that's why I'm headed to the polls today and exercising my right to vote, in spite of New York Times articles that tell me voting is a purely symbolic act. I'll do my best to keep from getting tears in my eyes when I sign the registrar's roster for my precinct. The truth is I'm secretly glad to be maudlin about it. I revel in goosebumps and feeling my heart in my throat as I step into the voting booth.
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