the real story of "gloria"

What comes to mind when I mention the 1980s smash hit "Gloria"? Odds are, if you're Italian, she's the object of a masturbatory fantasy. If you're a Spanish speaker, she's also sexual (but in a non-specific way). If you're American/Australian/someone who speaks English, she's someone with issues. Here's how we reached that conclusion ...

Leo procured some of my favorite Spanish-language Christmas carols (Villancicos) yesterday. They are sung by Parchís, a child supergroup formed in Spain in the late 70s. (Think Menudo or New Kids on the Block -- but male and female, like Kids Incorporated.)

Then, out of nowhere, I sang the refrain "Parchís, chis, chis" from another song (that I don't remember at all) and it got stuck in his head (because he remembers it). We hopped onto YouTube and found several Parchís videos, including one for "Gloria" -- sung in Spanish. I realized that the Parchís version was released in 1979, a few years before Laura Branigan's Grammy-award winning (and career-making) version. Game on -- we had to know if Laura Branigan ripped off her megahit from a bunch of cheesy Spanish kids whose signature look involved monochromatic leisure suits.

That led us to Wikipedia. "Gloria" is by an Italian, Umberto Tozzi, and the original lyrics are racy (we think they're really about masturbation) and nothing like Laura Branigan's version. What puzzles us is why Parchís (kids, really) sang the same sexy song (less masturbatory, and seemingly more directly sexual) and how that got past the censors. Our only explanation was that it was four years post-Franco, during Spain's "let's go completely crazy because we just outlived our fascist dictator" period.

For your viewing pleasure, the videos and the lyrics are posted below.

By the way, Umberto Tozzi remains one of the most popular Italian singers abroad, and in the course of his career has sold more than 45 million records, including the mega-hit "Ti Amo," which Leo also recognized from his childhood. I've included it here in Italian, and in Italian with a studio audience, followed by a duet of "Tu" with Celene in French.

"Gloria," the original, but translated into Spanish. Umberto Tozzi, 1979. (Check out the video's chromakey special effects!)


"Gloria," the original, in the original Italian. Umberto Tozzi, 1979. (A live action performance in front of the Italian video. Bravo, Umberto. Brav-o.)


"Gloria," in Spanish. Parchís, 1979. (You know the lead singer wanted the song to himself and that the kids in the background are dancing in a goofy way to distract everyone from the sexual lyrics.)


"Gloria," in English (cleaned up lyrics). Laura Branigan, 1982. (This time, the song's lyrics have been sanitized, but Laura's choreography is sexy.)

Original lyrics
Italian lyrics Gloria manchi tu nell'aria manchi ad una mano che lavora piano manchi a questa bocca che cibo piu non tocca e sempre questa storia che lei la chiamo Gloria. Gloria sui tuoi fianchi la mattina nasce il sole entra odio ed esce amore dal nome Gloria. Gloria manchi tu nell'aria manchi come il sale mi manchi piu del sole sciogli questa neve che soffoca il mio petto t'aspetto Gloria. Gloria chiesa di campagna acqua nel deserto lascio aperto il cuore scappa senza far rumore dal lavore dal tuo letto dai gradini di un altare ti aspetto Gloria. Gloria per chi attende il giorno e invece di dormire con la memoria torna a un tuffo nei papaveri in una terra libera per chi respira nebbia per chi respira rabbia per me che senza Gloria con te nuda sul divano faccio stelle di cartone pensando a Gloria.	Spanish lyrics Gloria, faltas en el aire falta tu presencia, cálida inocencia faltas en mi boca que sin querer te nombra y escribiré mi historia con la palabra Gloria Porque aquí a tu lado la mañana se ilumina la verdad y la mentira se llaman Gloria Gloria, Faltas en el aire faltas en el cielo, quémame en tu fuego fúndeme la nieve que congela mi pecho te espero Gloria Gloria, Campo de sonrisas agua en el desierto, corazón abierto aventura de mi mente de mi mesa y de mi lecho del jardín de mi presente te espero Gloria. Gloria, por quien espera el día y mientras todos duermen, con la memoria inventa aroma entre los árboles, en una tierra mágica por quien respira niebla, Por quien respira rabia Te fundes en sus besos, te desnudas provocando y hago sombras en el techo, pensando en Gloria Gloria, Faltas en el aire faltas en el cielo, quémame en tu fuego fúndeme en la nieve que congela mi pecho te espero Gloria Gloria, (Gloria) campo de sonrisas (Gloria) agua en el desierto (Gloria) corazón abierto (Gloria) aventura de mi mente de mi mesa y de mi lecho del jardín de mi presente te espero Gloria	English lyrics Gloria, you're always on the run now Running after somebody, you gotta get him somehow I think you've got to slow down before you start to blow it I think you're headed for a breakdown, so be careful not to show it You really don't remember, was it something that he said? Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria? Gloria, don't you think you're fallin'? If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody callin'? You don't have to answer Leave them hangin' on the line, oh-oh-oh, calling Gloria Gloria (Gloria), I think they got your number (Gloria) I think they got the alias (Gloria) that you've been living under (Gloria) But you really don't remember, was it something that they said? Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria? A-ha-ha, a-ha-ha, Gloria, how's it gonna go down? Will you meet him on the main line, or will you catch him on the rebound? Will you marry for the money, take a lover in the afternoon? Feel your innocence slipping away, don't believe it's comin' back soon And you really don't remember, was it something that he said? Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria? Gloria, don't you think you're fallin'? If everybody wants you, why isn't anybody callin'? You don't have to answer Leave them hangin' on the line, oh-oh-oh, calling Gloria Gloria (Gloria), I think they got your number (Gloria) I think they got the alias (Gloria) that you've been living under (Gloria) But you really don't remember, was it something that they said? Are the voices in your head calling, Gloria?
Translated lyrics
Spanish translation of Italian lyrics GLORIA, FALTAS EN EL AIRE FALTAS EN ESTA MANO QUE TRABAJA DESPACIO. FALTAS EN ESTA BOCA QUE YA NO COME, POR ESTA HISTORIA, QUE SE LLAMA GLORIA. GLORIA A TU LADO, POR LA MAÑANA NACE EL SOL, ENTRA ODIO Y SALE AMOR DEL NOMBRE GLORIA. GLORIA, FALTAS EN EL AIRE, FALTAS COMO LA SAL, FALTAS MÁS QUE EL SOL. DERRITE ESTA NIEVE, QUE SOFOCA MI PECHO, TE ESPERO GLORIA. GLORIA, IGLESIA DE CAMPO, AGUA EN EL DESIERTO, EL CORAZÓN ABIERTO. ESCAPA SIN HACER RUIDO, DE LA CAMA, DE LAS ESCALERAS DEL ALTAR, TE ESPERO GLORIA. GLORIA, PARA QUIEN ESPERA EL DÍA, EN VEZ DE DORMIR, TENGO LA MENTE OFUSCADA. SUMERGIRSE EN LAS AMAPOLAS, EN UNA TIERRA LIBRE, PARA EL QUE RESPIRA NIEBLA, PARA EL QUE RESPIRA RABIA. PARA MI, SIN GLORIA DESNUDO SOBRE EL DIVÁN, HAGO ESTRELLAS DE CARTÓN PENSANDO EN GLORIA.	English translation of Spanish translation GLORIA, YOU’RE MISSING IN THE AIR YOU’RE MISSING IN THIS HAND THAT WORKS SLOWLY. YOU’RE MISSING IN THIS MOUTH THAT NO LONGER EATS, BECAUSE THIS STORY, IS CALLED GLORIA. GLORIA, AT YOUR SIDE, IN THE MORNING, THE SUN IS BORN HATE ENTERS AND LOVE LEAVES IN THE NAME OF GLORIA. GLORIA, YOU’RE MISSING IN THE AIR YOU’RE MISSING LIKE SALT YOU’RE MISSING MORE THAN THE SUN. MELT THIS SNOW THAT SUFFOCATES MY CHEST I AWAIT YOU GLORIA. GLORIA, CHURCH OF THE COUNTRYSIDE, WATER IN THE DESERT, THE OPEN HEART. ESCAPE WITHOUT MAKING NOISE, FROM THE BED, FROM THE ALTAR’S STAIRS, I AWAIT YOU GLORIA. GLORIA, FOR WHOM THE DAY WAITS, INSTEAD OF SLEEPING I HAVE AN OBFUSCATED MIND. SUBMERGE YOURSELF IN POPPIES, IN A FREE LAND, FOR HIM THAT BREATHES FOG, FOR HIM THAT BREATHES RAGE. FOR ME, WITHOUT GLORIA NAKED ON THE DIVÁN, I MAKE CARDBOARD STARS THINKING OF GLORIA.	English translation of original Spanish lyrics Gloria, You’re missing in the air Your presence is missing Warm innocence You’re missing in my mouth that without wanting to names you And I will write my story with the word Gloria Because here next to you the morning lights up the truth and the lie are called Gloria Gloria, You’re missing in the air You’re missing in the sky, Burn me in your fire Melt the snow That freezes my chest I await you Gloria. Gloria, Field of smiles Water in the desert, Open heart Adventure of my mind, My table, and my bed Of the garden of my present I await you Gloria Gloria, For whom the day waits And while everyone sleeps, With the memory invents Aroma amongst the trees In a magical land For whom fog breathes For whom rage breathes You melting in her(?) kisses You disrobe provocatively And I make shadows on the ceiling Thinking of Gloria Gloria, You’re missing in the air You’re missing in the sky, Burn me in your fire Melt the snow That freezes my chest I await you Gloria. Gloria, (Gloria) smiles (Gloria) Water in the desert (Gloria) open heart (Gloria) Adventure of my mind my table And my bed in my garden this you hope Glory Gloria, (Gloria) Field of smiles (Gloria) Water in the desert, (Gloria) Open heart (Gloria) Adventure of my mind, My table, and my bed Of the garden of my present I await you Gloria.