#TeamSanta no more

Re: Santa. (Yes, I know it isn't even Halloween yet, but this is popping up in a few places right now.)

We told Seba (8) and Lucia (6) the truth about 2 weeks ago. The conversation included a bit of a conspiratorial air -- with Leo and I leaning in and telling them that we knew they were finally old enough to learn the truth and both of us nodding in agreement that we thought they were ready and mature enough to handle this information. (They totally leaned in and were riveted at that point.)

Lucia, who has always been skeptical and has asked hard, pointed questions about Santa --even at age 3 -- confessed she knew "there had to be something you guys did to help Santa" and "it wasn't physically possible for him to do all of that all over the world." We shared that Santa was based on a real person who lived long ago (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas) who made people feel special by secretly giving them gifts.

We stressed that the magic of Santa is that he makes others feel special and that they can still be a Santa to someone else who needs the magic and who believes. We also reminded them that giving to others has its own magic and makes the giver feel great, too. Both got excited at the prospect of this -- and even talked about wanting to do this for their kids someday. The conversation began and ended with a very clear message from us about not ruining the magic for others, especially their peers and cousins, and to TELL NO ONE AT SCHOOL. (So far, so good.)

Truthfully, I am relieved to be free of the Santa myth. I do not like lying or having to be very evasive to my kids. We went along with it mostly because Leo's family has a tradition of "Santa" coming down the stairs on Christmas eve at the Noche Buena family gathering and giving each child a gift that his/ her parent has discreetly placed in Santa's bag at the beginning of the party. I will say that it is usually an adult cousin who reluctantly gets roped into wearing the costume by Tía Olga. The funniest year was when the smartass 9 year old told Santa (Martin Stezano that year) that his New Balance kicks might be too slippery for the icy North Pole.

But that was also the year that our children received a Thomas the Train game (Seba - 4 at the time) and Dora the Explorer doll (Lucia - 2 at the time) and they were firmly #TeamSanta no matter their personal doubts, because being on Team Santa meant gifts and all sorts of cool things. They are bright kids and weren't interested in upsetting the (un)natural order of things if it meant they might get less gifts.

I was ready to tell them because I think our way of explaining the magic is more meaningful and can help them get really excited about what they do for others. I also wanted them to hear it from us and not be (potentially) crushed by the betrayal the lie means. Lastly, Seba is always the last person to get the memo about what's cool and what's not socially and for once, I wanted him to feel the power and confidence of what it means to be an insider.

Epilogue: They made their Christmas wishlist this weekend. It was so nice to remind them that Santa and his elves aren't the ones who make or buy their presents. I reminded them that now that they know it is mami and papi (and their grandparents/ aunts/ uncles) who are bankrolling all the loot and buying their presents, that the expensive items (I'm looking at you, Bugatti Chiron and Hogwarts Castle LEGO sets) might not be the best choice because there's a very low probability of them being under the tree on Christmas morning.

quotable

"You find the universal through the specific. Details are what draw you in." - Margaret Dilloway