o canada, we plead to cede to thee

I am perfectly willing to incorporate "eh" into my vocabulary.

ADOPT US, O Canada!
As a blue-red split continues in the Divided States of America,
we note that every blue state is contiguous to Canada or to a another blue state
that is contiguous to Canada, except Hawaii - that's not contiguous to anything
but a lot of blue water that's contiguous to Canada.

Therefore, we've got an idea. How about a sort of second American
Revolution, Canada, in which you annex all the blue states, liberate us from
King George, and thus become the world's sole superpower.

What Canada Gets:
• Higher education
• Serious sports
• Warm-weather vacations
• The cultural arts
• The entertainment industry
• The automobile industry
• The biotech industry
• The computer industry
• A burgeoning tourist industry
• Fresher produce
• Arnold Schwarzenegger

What the Red-Staters get:
• Exactly what they want.

What Blue-Staters get:
• Canadian citizenship
• "O, Canada"
• Free flu shots. (Not to mention free health care.)

You don't like our "values," red-staters, you've got your wish - we're outta here.
But remember, the next time you want to see a Broadway show, visit wine country, Hawaii or the birthplace of liberty, don't just bring your Visa card, bring your visa.
You're in Canada now. And we're tightening our borders.
Don't delay, Canada. This offer expires in four years.

Via Ron C. and Tom K.