today's to-do list

Things to do before the inaugural:
1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Hoard gasoline.
7. Borrow books from library before they're banned.
8. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
9. Stay out late before the curfews start.
10. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
11. Practice the phrase - "you can't do that - this isAmerica."
12. If you're white - marry a black person, if you're black - marry a white person.
13. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
14. Start your school day without a prayer.
15. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
16. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
17. Take a factory tour anywhere in the U.S.
18. Take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
19. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
20. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
21. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill."
22. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a state.

Via Diana Lai