touching things up

Toastmasters speech (Your body speaks) originally given on May 19, 2005
Award: Best speaker

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Don't touch me.
Keep in touch.
You're so touchy!
Real out and touch someone.
Put the finishing touches on something.
I found your story very touching.
Touch base with me before you leave.
You didn't touch your food.
The flowers had white petals touched with pink.

Our culture has its own vocabulary about touching. It's not what the words actually mean, it's their connotation that has so much power. The American Heritage(r) Dictionary lists 16 different meanings for the word "touch."

Language is a reflection of our interaction and our values and these sayings evoke very specific feelings precisely because they are about connection with one another. In this sense, I think the word "touch" means so many things because touch is critical to who we are as human beings. In the next few minutes, I'll explain how touch impacts us and how it means different things across cultures.


Touch symbolizes a great deal. It can be a loving gesture, a sign of affection. A lover's touch is electrifying. For some, the sense of touch is a primary way of interacting with the world. But touch can also be a very bad thing if it's done with too much force.

The Touch Research Institutes at the University of Miami in Florida study the effects of touch therapy. They are researching how massage affects everyone from newborns to senior citizens. They have found that massage

1. Helps premature babies gain weight faster
2. Reduces stress hormones
3. Alleviates depressive symptoms
4. Reduces pain
5. Improves immune function
6. Alters EEG in the direction of heightened awareness

I confess, I love a good massage. But I also know that I love being touched. Perhaps it's because I grew up in a very touchy-feely family. When I greet a friend, I usually touch that person, either with a hug, kiss, or handshake. I kiss my French friends hello and goodbye on the cheek three times. And just this week, a Mexican friend said goodbye by gently squeezing my forearm and saying "buenas noches." That got me thinking about how touch means different things across cultures.

Touch means different things across cultures
Bedouins touch noses together three times when greeting one another, as a sign of friendship and respect.

In India, you can apologize to someone by tapping their shoulder to get her attention and then tapping your forehead twice.

But in Thailand, you never want to tap someone on the shoulder, because it's rude to pat someone else's back.

And then there's the whole concept of personal space. In Europe and North America, it's generally considered rude if you stand closer than 8 inches to the person to whom you're speaking. There's a whole Seinfeld episode about "close talkers" and we get uncomfortable around close talkers, even if they are friends. The closer we get to touching, the more intimate we are with the person.

But in the Middle East and Asia, the concept of personal space is very different. Friends not only stand close together, they often touch while talking. It's not uncommon to see Arab men, even government officials and military officers, holding hands as they walk together or otherwise converse with one another.

And in China, there is often pushing and shoving in stores or on public transportation, but no apologies are offered or expected. It may be odd to us, but it's just how things are done there.

While doing research on touching across cultures, I found an odd news story. I know that this week's theme is "tall tales," but this is a bonafide news story that I came across a few days ago on wired.com.

Stroke a chicken
Researchers at the National University of Singapore have developed a system that allows physical interaction over the internet. Right now, the technology is being used to stroke chickens. That's right. You can pet a chicken halfway around the world using this technology.

Here's how it works: You pet a hollow, chicken-shaped doll that has sensors inside. Those sensors use radio signals to send the information to a computer, which then sends the information to another computer on the internet. The second computer receives the data and triggers tiny motors in a lightweight jacket on the chicken. The chicken then feels your touch in the exact places the replica did.

"This is the first human-poultry interaction system ever developed," said professor Adrian David Cheok, the leader of the team, who has been developing the technology for nearly two years.

"We understand the perceived eccentricity of developing a system for humans to interact with poultry remotely, but this work has a much wider significance," he added.

At first I thought that what the scientists were doing was bizarre: What in the world would compel them to spend years of their lives working on a way for humans to pet a chicken remotely? But when I stop and think about it, these scientists aren't completely mad. Today, they are putting a vest on a chicken as a proof of concept. Two years from now, they hope to make it possible to hug someone thousands of miles away. And in the end, they are using technology to replicate the most basic form of human interaction -- the connection that happens when we touch someone else.