ah, mcsweeney's

Reasons Bloggers Hate the Mainstream MediaBy William Wolfe (11/4/05)
Comments From the Crowd Gathering Around the Body of Phidippides, Reporter of the Greek Victory Over the Persians at Marathon, Soon After He Gasped, "We Won," and DiedBy Brian Hubbard (10/28/05)
What I Like About YouBy James Muldowney (10/28/05)
Rejected Bond GirlsBy Rebecca Waits (10/28/05)
My Rejected Cooking Show IdeasBy Dan Kennedy (10/21/05)
Leonard Cohen's Seven Immutable Laws of BusinessBy Ken Krimstein (10/21/05)
Other Places Jimmy Buffett Wasted AwayBy Chris Steck (10/14/05)
Subjects of "Light Bulb" Jokes That Will Probably Lead to Boring Punch LinesBy Peter J. Woods (10/14/05)
Five Ill-Fated Store NamesBy V. Einstein (10/14/05)
The Names of the President and the Members of the Presidential Cabinet According to the Etymological Backgrounds of Their First and Last Names, and of Their Middle Names When AvailableBy Jørgen G. Cleemann (10/12/05)
If Yosemite Sam's Curses Were Considered Real Profanity and Were Dubbed Over for Television in the Same Clumsy, Unconvincing Manner as 1980s R-Rated MoviesBy Martin Bell (10/7/05)
Ways in Which the Disinterred Corpse of Silent-Film Actor Lon Chaney Would Be a Better Vice President Than Dick CheneyBy Ian Adams (10/7/05)
As Yet Unrecognized by Microsoft WindowsBy Adam Chapman (10/5/05)
Fruit-Drink Flavors That Never Took OffBy Ben Weinberg (10/5/05)
Things You Would Say If You Had a Time Machine and Lots of Financial ProblemsBy Lynette Cain (9/30/05)
State Songs, If They All Suggested the Apathy of Idaho's "Here We Have Idaho"By Craig Robertson (9/30/05)
Ed Harrelson, Teen-Driver's-Education InstructorBy Sean Carman (9/30/05)
7 Habits of Highly Successful PeopleBy Brendon Lloyd (9/23/05)
Stories About My PumaBy Meg Favreau (9/23/05)
Companies at the Vanguard of the New Era in Christian MarketingBy Ned Rust (9/23/05)
What Thoreau Is MissingBy Shannon Peach (9/16/05)
I Can Never Recall the Name of Brooklyn's New Hip BandBy Dan Kennedy (9/16/05)
Methods Other Than Song by Which One Can Be Killed SoftlyBy Jonathan Holley and Emily Lawton (9/16/05)
Modern Air-Guitar AlternativesBy Steve McKnight (9/9/05)
Excerpts From the "Band Members Wanted" Section of the New York Musicians' Exchange (Circa 1987)By John Dadey (9/9/05)
Poker Terminology I Feel I Could Get Away With Saying If I Ever Played a TournamentBy Andy Sutherland (9/9/05)
Things Hagrid the Half-Giant Would Say If He Served Jesus Instead of Harry PotterBy Hart Seely (9/6/05)
Not-So-Good Names for Murder MysteriesBy Kevin Thoreson (9/2/05)
Places You Might Find JesusBy Jessy Henderson (9/2/05)
Directors' Commentaries From My DVD CollectionBy John Mancini (9/2/05)
Totalitarian Institutions That Would Have Been More Fitting for George Orwell's 1984, Considering How That Year Turned OutBy Patrick Cassels (8/26/05)
Chapter Titles From My Creationist TextbookBy David Ng (8/26/05)
Klingon Fairy TalesBy Mike Richardson-Bryan (8/22/05)
Things Koala Bears Would SayBy Tim Weinmann (8/19/05)
Other Poll Questions That May One Day Appear on an Unnamed Internet News Website, Given Its Recently Asked Question "Have You Ever Been in an Accident Involving a Plane?" Following the Air France CrashBy Tracey Harrington and Meredith O'Donnell (8/19/05)
Poorly Selling T-ShirtsBy Josh Knisely (8/19/05)
Elements Waiting Patiently for Inclusion on the Periodic TableBy Scott Gold and Katie McHugh (8/17/05)
Ways One Could, in Theory, Fight the SeetherBy Stephen Walsh (8/17/05)
Nonverbal Cues in Bizarro's WorldBy Ted Sanchez (8/17/05)
Things My Brother Has That I Don'tBy Scott Evan Newcomb (8/12/05)
Ten Precepts From The Art of War That Never Made It Past Sun Tzu's EditorBy John Kearney (8/12/05)
Acts Prohibited by the U.S. House of Representatives' Proposed Flag-Burning AmendmentBy James Erwin (8/10/05)
Less-Threatening Islamist GroupsBy Chris Wilkinson (8/10/05)