Are you tired of all those cheesy "friendship" poems that never come close to reality? Here's a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
- When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
- When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
- When you smile, I will know you've finally had sex.
- When you are scared, I will tease the crap out of you about it every chance I get.
- When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to stop your bloody whining.
- When you are confused, I will use little words.
- When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you are well again, I don't want whatever you have.
- When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy self.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.