vendredi, février 03, 2006

online dating dispatch, vol. III

Giant disclaimer: I am honest to a fault and perhaps too direct. But I am who I am.

I'm a few weeks into this adventure. I've met some cool guys, and also learned a few things:
  1. Smart is sexy, no matter how you slice it.
  2. I don't do well with highly-NP people, even if they are sexy as hell. Think "she makes the sign of a teaspoon, he makes the sign of a wave" -- they're all concept, I'm all detail. And that does not make for easy conversation. I also have a low tolerance for extreme ambiguity.
  3. Having similar interests, politics, and social values is a good start, but not enough.
  4. Some people are just better online than they are in person.
  5. Going dutch can be a very good thing. That way, he doesn't feel used and I don't feel guilty.
  6. In order for there to be a ping-ping, it has to be mutual. Corollary: There's no chemistry if only one person has a spark.
  7. If there's no ping-ping, move on. Quickly.
  8. It is possible to be clear that you're not interested without being hurtful. Everyone's on the losing end of rejection at some point. But I still find it easier to be rejected than to hurt someone else's feelings.
  9. I need banter, push-back, or someone with enough spirit so as not to be confused with an invertebrate, even if he is smart, cute, and reasonably housebroken. If I think I could eat you for breakfast at-will, I lose interest.
  10. There's a lot to be said for making new friends this way.

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