nancy pelosi: "i have two years to fuck hillary up six ways from sunday."
harry reid: "let's show these unilateral bastards what bipartisanship really means."
chuck schumer: "and after i have tony snow thrown in a gitmo jail cell, i'm going to pass a law making red elephants obscene, and then i'm going to make it illegal for people to vote for parties that begin with the letter R, and then..."
rahm emanuel: "i really hope they pick clooney over tony shalhoub to play me in the movie."
hillary clinton: "i wonder how fast the white house decorators can put everything back the way it looked in 2000..."
bill clinton: "crap. i just know if hillary gets elected president she's going to put me on a low-fat, no-intern diet for four years..."
jon stewart: "now what the fuck am i going to do with these five hard drives filled with republican-government-gone-wrong jokes?"
george w. bush: "lord, i know this is part of your plan, so i'm gonna do my best to listen to the american people and work with harry and nancy, because that's what the country needs right now. now if i could only remember where i put my mirror and rolled up dollar bill..."
dick cheney: "i should have taken rahm and chuck hunting when karl asked me to."
karl rove: "i knew i shouldn't have let mary matalin convince me not to leak that photoshopped picture of nancy pelosi blowing osama."
george allen: "holy macaca!"
laura ingraham: "i guess it's back to blowing truckers in back alleys for me..."
ann coulter: "you best keep clear of my alley, bitch! this my house!"
the 'liberal' media: "is there any doubt this victory will cause the democrats to turn on one another?"
fox news: "several republicans beat back democratic challenges in strong rebuke to defeatnik democrat agenda."
iraq: "does this mean we can stop getting bombed now?"
north korea: "crap."
the world: "what THE FUCK took you guys so long?"