a day in the life of joe republican...

As a tree-hugging, godless, commie, environmentalist wacko, elitist, America-hating, wine-drinking, cheese-eating, big-government- and girly-man-loving, fancy-pants liberal American in this country, I love this.

Joe gets up and fills his coffee pot with water. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

Joe takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance -- now Joe gets it too.

He prepares breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He takes the subway which saves him considerable money in parking and gas because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation.

He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to join the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker's compensation or an unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Joe's bank deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers.

Joe has a Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and a below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Joe drives a car which is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.

He visits his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

His father lives on Social Security and a pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to.

Joe listens to a conservative radio talk show. Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."
Via Healy