Meet Albert, the world's smartest goldfish.
Over the past year, the calico orandan has learned to fetch, swim through hoops, and play soccer.
He's even earned a spot as "fish with the largest repertoire of tricks" in the next edition of Guinness World Records.
Albert is the progeny of Dean Pomerleau, a 41-year-old software engineer who, in a bid to assuage his daughter's demand for a puppy, decided to try out some dog-training techniques on her brother's pet fish.
With coffee stirrers, toothpicks, rubber bands, and a pushpin, Pomerleau built a food delivery system that allowed him to entice Albert with tasty morsels and reward him for positive behavior.
Within weeks, the fish was scooting through an obstacle course of tunnels, limbo poles, and hoops - he could even nudge a mini soccer ball into a goal.
Pomerleau has since established the world's first fish-training academy, written an ebook on piscine education, and is thinking of starting a World Cup soccer tourney for the scaly little guys.
Alas, his daughter isn't satisfied.
Says Pomerleau, "She still wants the dog."
Via Nolan and Joe